How to catch a Gaslighter......
The Truth behind the Buccaneer
And the McGaslighter’s family
A true story about the struggles and total
Lack of support from a family who had
The most potential and time to help their
Own succeed. This is a
testament to the resilance
Of the Human Spirit within most of us.
Introduction
This is from the perspective of the one who has been persecuted
By his own family and forgotten by all those he helped the most
When he needed them, they were no where to be found.
It’s also about how not supporting your own family has
Real world consequences and my aunt is a perfect example
Of what happens when you don’t support or back up your
Own family when they need you.
Written by Daniel Loper
All the stories and perspectives within have been researched
and
Are possible due to my
aunt and her remembering all the patterns
Of behaviors that I noticed finally in 2024.
The Beginning
I used
to have some respect for my mother and father when I was younger but over time
and finally seeing things for what they truly are after studying Psychology and
Gaslighting for 2 years and with the help of my daughter’s ADHD diagnosis, it
all finally makes perfect sense.
I grew up thinking my childhood was
normal and for the most part it was, but Hindsight is 20 20 here since my
memory is much better than many and better than every other family member’s for
sure. When I was growning up me and my sister fought all
the time, but I thought all that had ended as adults. I know for a fact, and even my aunt told me
she knew that Kristen played the victim all the time, so she just validated
what I already knew. I was an excellent
student in school but I was considered a nerd or a geek so my circle of friends
was small, it only included 2 other people that I was friends with all through
out school until our lives just took different paths but each of us were very
smart, One became a crane operator and works or worked as a crane operator for
a company that did work at nuclear plants,
the other got a 28 on his ACT and was very quick witted and as far as I
know graduated from a culinary institute and lives far away on an island. Him and I were in all the gifted and
talented programs through out middle school,
while the other friend may have not been as gifted he was gifted in many
other ways, mainly in his saving his money and obviously steady hands and
loving family. I had a father who only
participated in my life by being a coach for baseball and also golfing with me
as well. He never took any interest
other than just trying to incentivize good grades with money. This had no impact on my grades whatsoever, I
still got all A’s and B’s but my first C came in the 7th grade when
I started smoking pot. After that I
never wanted to do my homework but I still had all A’s and B’s and only one C
that I can remember through out school, I eventually graduated from high school
with honors and with a 3.6 GPA and also received a scholarship, the Arkansas
Challenge Scholarship. I got a 24 on my
ACT in the 10th grade, and for you who don’t know 36 is a perfect
score on this particular college entrance exam.
I only know my mother’s ACT score and not
my father’s but my mother got a 12 on her ACT.
This isn’t so much a measure of intelligence because normally those who
have to try harder in school have better study habits and tend to do better in
college but one thing that had been passed down from generation to generation
was this anger or rage that hit me when I was 16 and I didn’t know what it was
but my mother only got as far as having my thyroid tested trying to figure it
out and also that’s when I started anti-depressants for the first time and If I
remember correctly, it was Zoloft that was the first one a doctor ever put me
on, his name was Dr. Barron in Russellville.
This did help me let go of some of the anger and realize how
unproductive it was but like all the anti-depressants I was put on after this,
only lasted for 6 months at the most due to their effectiveness wearing
off. My aunt has had a similar
experience with anti-depressants, being prescribed every SSRI known to man with
very little success in the long term but somehow she did, after going thru
several traumatic experiences, make it thru college but it just took her a
while due to the transferring of credits from schools and being a mother of 2,
it’s amazing how she was able to accomplish this with very little support from
her family, and being the bravest one, and leaving the state. No other family member has ever lived out of
the state of Arkansas which I have found to be when so many narcissistic
personalities like to reside.
When I started college, I only lasted 6 months because the classes were
boring and the same as in high school just harder but when in high school I
never had to study or even do much homework because I paid attention during
class so my study habits were just not there, and I also made some implusive
decisions to focus on some girlfriends that turned out to be, well say, not
worth my time.
After high school, I started my own
business detailing cars in the shop right next to McB’s and it quickly grew
from the few regular people to doing cars in bulk for a used car salesman who
bought the vehicles at an auction along with detailing regularly for the owner
of the car lot right beside me. I was
making enough money then, back in 2000, to pay any helper 8$ an hour and still
make a small profit.
In 2001, when I was living at spring lake
apartments with someone who was helping me detail vehicles while babysitting
someone for friendship who was close to our ages, every night at spring lake we
had loud parties getting drunk to “Alcoholic” by exhibit, then one Sunday
morning there was about 5-8 people in the apartment I stayed at including
Korey, Joseph, Matt Taylor (Deceased) and I believe Zach. An officer named Bevis was putting “be kind
be friendly” poster’s I don’t even know where but my friend Matt let him in
because all of the people there were in the living room smoking pot and after
he let him in he did a quick search but only got a joint from Korey while
Joseph stashed his paraphernalia and took off just like the rest of them except
for the roommate I was living with. He
didn’t leave much but it just goes to show who will throw someone “under the
bus” when it comes down to it, I would say this was a one off incident but he
did the same thing to a friend of mine after she had a bad reaction to
something he gave her. He told me only
the first part of the story but after showing her his picture she called him
“Jose” the landscaper, and turns out he left all his illegal things there that
night and then came back the next day and picked them up as if nothing had ever
happened. This instance it was only his
paranoia that led him to bolt and no actual police showed up, she was the one
who told me the last half of the story so that tells me that when it comes down
to it he will blame anyone but himself.
When I got the few little charges due to his drugs he brought from
Mississippi, luckily the attorney already had a case against Bevis for things
of this nature and when I showed up for court he just said “go home” so I did.
In 2003 I believe I met my ex-wife and after she was 7 months pregnant,
we got married, at her parents behest or nudging so to speak and at the time it
felt like the right thing to do but prior to us getting married and her getting
pregnant, we both drank and smoked pot every night at spring lake which is exactly
the people in my family self-medicate their ADHD that has been passed down from
my grandfather. This self-medicating is
only a temporary solution and leaves you with a hang-over and basically makes
you lazy due to the THC.
I guess I was lucky in the fact that my
body told me subconsciously what it needed so for years I just self-medicated
with a stimulant I could get but the main difference is it didn’t change my
personality, opiates barely if at all did, but what opiates did do is make my
memories during my 10 year phase of taking them very blurry or hazy. The person or persons that helped me decide
to quit was first off, getting closure from the relationship I had with Amanda
and the other was just the fact my daughter existed. I found a suboxone clinic online and got
better in a year and a half and have even taken the same types of opiates again
but this time is was no problem to stop.
The reason it wasn’t hard to stop is because I finally found the right
medications for me so I have no desire to start another habit except for the
ones I have already started which would be exercising every morning and eating
better, and avoiding foods with synthetic dyes which can aggravate ADHD or
autistic symptoms, in case anyone out there didn’t already know.
All of the next things I’m going to mention I can back up with proof
just like anything else. I started or
got interested in Bitcoin in 2017 and even mined it for a short time and had
nearly figured out the code down hashes they were trying to look for, in basic
terms all these millions of miners are looking for prime or semi-prime numbers
which the one who finds the next one gets the reward because it used to create
the next block in the blockchain or all the transactions at that particular time. I also came up with an idea for a
delivery/shopping service right about the time DoorDash or Instacart was about
to make it to Arkansas for the first time, I had no idea I was barely ahead of
them but that idea I had every part of it worked out down to the website which
would have cost 300$ and how I would charge people even the ones on limited
incomes.
Then I get the idea for a gaming café of
which I never got to finish but it’s intent was to be part of Mack Daddy’s in
Dover in order to give kids a place to congregate and be social in a place that
is in the middle of the little town which would, I assume, been good for kids
who had to wait around to go to basketball and football games or even one’s who
had to wait for their parents to pick them up.
Instead of getting to finish that idea for a business I get a new
neighbor who just happens to be just like my family, talks badly about her own
behind their backs, and is the busiest busy-body, besides her daughter of
course, due to having no hobbies that I know of and also had a drunk master
electrician boyfriend as well.
Since Narcissistic type personalities are
terrible at knowing when they are being manipulated by other narcissist’s, I’m
sure it was fairly easy for them to spread their lies because each of the
people involved talked to a different family member in a family that everyone
knew couldn’t communicate well with each other, and I know Tisha especially
knew this. I just never knew how
horrible a person she truly was until I told her no in the nicest possible way,
and her mother was in the process of getting her teeth done which may have led
to some personality changes. I did
realize during all this that her mother, who was now my neighbor, did slander
my name a while back on facebook and my sister was the one who told me but I
failed to ask how and why she was able to see the slanderous statement and this
was 3 years before she ever moved in next to me. Tisha also said to me directly, that neither
her or her mother would ever talk to Taylor about me either, and they did
exactly that, and the text messages I was able to record or screenshot proves
that they did because she would have no idea any of the details of what went
on. The odd thing is if Taylor’s so
happy why does she take any interest whatsoever or talk with anyone about me
especially after those emails she called the cops over that are part of my case
and have no threat whatsoever. Each one
of these people tried to press charges of some sort except Kyle, but what I
know about him is that he thought he was the law in that little section of town
and I could tell he thought he was better than everyone else which was my gut
feeling, a grandiose narcissist like my grandmother (who he said one thing to
and then something different to my mother) and father. Tisha is a grandiose narcissist too while
Judy and Kristen are the vulnerable narcissist types, playing the victims. Kristen did this all my life but Judy only
did this once where she told me something to the effect her boyfriend David had
hurt her in some way, and I listened but can’t remember what he specifically
did on that one occasion she told me about it.
Tisha thinks she is god’s gift to man and sleeps with any old high
school friend that came thru town and in the 8 years working with her I never
showed any interest in her but I thought I could at least trust her but I was
dead wrong about that.
That is the reoccurring thing that happens
with me and people, I give them chance after chance or trust them and get let down,
even my own family let me down in the worst way by not standing up for me but
as it turns out they have done the same to my aunt for even longer, she just
wasn’t subjected to the same types of gaslighting I was subjected to, her
trauma stems mostly from physical altercations that the family just blamed her
for which I find appalling but totally true.
It’s like every one of my family only things domestic abuse occurs when
they are the victims but when they witness someone else do the same to someone
else they have no problem whatsoever ignoring it completely, that is their
double standard. They have also used their social status they got when they
were younger to downplay or lie to the police, causing nothing to ever get
investigated whatsoever. They think they
are special or going to be at god’s side but I say “Why would god want such
selfish people at his side? And why would they think they somehow know
something other’s don’t know about this so called higer level in heaven, and
worst of all, trying selfishly to be the only one’s to get there, is literally
a waste they will regret later on in life.”
I’ve done decided that I am going to have
to use the Golden Rule in Reverse due to the lack of people being able to
listen or even treat other’s like they are treated, mostly they just expect
other’s to cater to their special needs and don’t care about other’s which is a
sign of narcissism, the main one, Lack Of Empathy. The inability to understand without the
intent to reply, listen, or putting themselves in other’s shoes ( and I mean
truly imagine themselves in the same situation and how they would handle it if
it were them) is a skill they lack but I’m practically an expert at it and it’s
called active listening. You can’t teach
someone how to, it’s basically a skill you either have or you don’t and none of
them have this skill. If they did, they
would be better people all around and have more job security for the future but
instead they just scapegoat and blame which is honestly a reflection on them,
because blaming never solved a single problem, it only sends people around a
never ending misery-go-round.
So to sum up this story I will identify each person and type of narcissistic
personality they are, and if they aren’t then well, oops I guess since I have an
open mind you could try to convince me with actions or evidence but those are
the only things that will ever convince me.
Chris Loper – Grandiose Narcissist
(Isolated his wife due to his own insecurities and gaslit her over time, looked
the other way when her younger sister had obviously been physically assaulted
then became a perpitraitor of physical harassment himself most recently in June
and January of 2024)
Pat McAlister –
Grandiose Narcissist ( Is only concerned about her own social status, only
responds to text messages about herself and didn’t back up her youngest
daughter and oldest grandson when they needed her the most)
Cyndie Loper – Now a
Grandiose Narcissist due to being married to one for so long ( Talks badly
about every other family member behind their backs just like Kristen does, is
an emotionally abusive alcoholic, and has belittled, or demeaned both her
younger sister and her own son)
Kyle Lynch – Grandiose Narcissist
(told my grandmother one promise during the sale of the apartments, then told
my mother something different and even had the gall to complain about the
apartment I stayed in, I wonder what he had to say about the second people he
kicked out who were hoarders and had 2 locked storage rooms? Also I wonder how
clean his house is, or if he just pays someone else to clean it)
LaTisha Holland –
Grandiose Narcissist (Abusive Parent and grandparent, has kicked her daughter
out twice as well as her 2 grandkids and for years smoked pot in the same
apartment that they resided in, also is a backstabber, facebook drama queen,
and practically lives there, and she also does nothing but complain about other
people and is the spoiled brat of her family)
Joseph Hibbard –
Grandiose Narcissist (Greedy, Compulsive Liar, does everything in excess such
as gambling, alcoholism, and even gaslighting his own girlfriend speaking of
which, he said he was going to marry her a long time ago I wonder if he ever
kept that promise to his live in housekeeper who cares more about his kids than
he does)
Michael Bates –
Grandiose Narcissist (Had to use grand gestures like puppies and a new SUV to
win his wife back aka materialistic and can’t do any better) of course his wife
being around him takes on some of his narcissism but as far as I can remember
she was a much nicer caring person when she was around me.
Kristen Nordin/Loper (and no
you can’t cross out loper on this blog post HAHA, next time you get a check
with Loper on it just cross it out and write in the correct name and initial it
or have you forgotten how checks and the bank works?) – Vulnerable Narcissist
(takes after her father) didn’t even notice the obvious symptoms of her son’s
ADHD (She has played the victim for so
long she is an expert at it but has hated me for no reason since she was 16
years old)
Judy Rawlings –
Vulnerable Narcissist who raised 3 children with felony records. Had or has lived with a drunk master
electrician boyfriend for 5 years and knew he was a narcissist and an alcoholic
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