Narcissistic abuse checker
SAFE SELF‑CHECK · EDUCATIONAL ONLY
Narcissistic Abuse Pattern Checker
This interactive guide helps you notice patterns like gaslighting, love‑bombing, devaluation, control, and isolation in any relationship. It does not diagnose anyone, and it cannot replace a trained professional.
If you ever feel in immediate danger, close this page and contact local emergency
services or a trusted crisis line right away.
1 · Choose a pattern to explore
Tap a pattern, then answer the questions as honestly as you can.
Emotional
Psychological
Social
Financial
Sexual
At the beginning, did this person make you feel unusually special very quickly
(intense attention, constant compliments, big promises or talk of a “soulmate”
connection)?
This can be “love‑bombing” – a fast, intense idealization that later flips into
devaluation.
Questions in this pattern:
1/4
0%
Current pattern intensity
Answer questions on the left to see how strongly these patterns show up in your
relationship, from 0% (low) to 100% (very strong).
2 · Patterns showing up across your answers
Emotional abuse
—
Psychological manipulation
—
Control & isolation
—
Practical / financial abuse
—
3 · Gentle next steps
- Write down specific incidents (dates, what was said or done, how you felt). Keep this in a safe place that the other person cannot access.
- Consider talking with a trauma‑informed therapist or advocate to review these patterns in a safe, confidential space.
- If there has been any physical, sexual, or severe emotional harm, connect with a local domestic violence hotline, crisis line, or shelter program for safety planning.
- You deserve relationships grounded in respect, care, accountability, and genuine empathy – not fear, confusion, or walking on eggshells.
This tool is for information and reflection only. It does not diagnose narcissistic
personality disorder or any mental health condition and is not a substitute for
medical, legal, or safety advice.
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