How to deal with a narcissist in your life....

 

If you have a narcissist in your life the best way to get it to stop is to educate yourself on all the narcissistic tendencies like blame-shifting, projection, triangulation, gaslighting, and many more so you will know what these behaviors are and how to explain who the actual narcissist in any relationship is.  The narcissist’s don’t like hearing the truth because of their fragile self-esteem and ego, they tend to use other’s to achieve their goals, or manipulate or exploit them thru the lies they tell others.  They will most likely try to blame rather than solve any problem and the only cure for this toxic behavior is therapy.  I know that no narcissist will ever want to go to therapy because they see no problem in the way they treat others, or even their own family or spouses. 

I watched a enlightening documentary about “Who’s in control” by NOVA on PBS that was on Youtube and what I realized is I’ve been taken advantage of so much that I have become very sensitive to any narcissistic behaviors, which was similar to how the mice that they used an almond scent and light foot shock started to develop more smell receptors that were only for detecting that almond scent.  So your environment can change how your genes are expressed or change all by themselves.  It’s kind of like their sense of smell evolved very quickly to adapt to their enviorment and the stimuli they received. 

I have evolved in a way that I am very empathetic towards others and  my only weakness is not knowing both sides of a story so I’m able to determine who’s playing the victim and have given so many people the benefit of the doubt and have learned forgiveness without actions to back up the words like admitting fault or saying sorry are just empty words.  If the person is truly sorry and works with you to change their actions then they have earned their forgiveness so it shouldn’t just be freely given but supported by what they do as well. 

A man/woman’s word or promises they make, should be the most important thing to keep but if people cannot communicate well or try to solve problems with logic and reason and instead have to raise their voice then they know they have already lost the argument, because talking over someone or louder doesn’t strengthen their side it’s only a defense mechanism and the only thing they know to do when they know they are in the wrong.  No one has to yell to get a point across when both parties are paying attention and listening to each other.