Here's a new Ted Talk that requires either empathy or active listening to understand why it works Plus my perspective on relationships

 

 

 In this short Ted Ed video about lifting people out of poverty it explains in a very quick way that giving money to people at the bottom who know what the problems are can be the most beneficial but instead the wealthy or ultra wealthy rarely do this at all, they keep they money they earned by just having money to lend and are greedy most of the time.

 Here's another great Ted Ed video that talks about empathy   those who think they know what''s best for someone else without ever taking their perspective or their experiences into account cannot truly empathize with that person at all which is why grandiose narcissist's have a hard time with empathy mainly because they have no active listening skills and only talk about themselves or pontificate like Celeste Headless says.

To me, any relationship should be equal but at times one person may work harder than the other so it's a delicate balance but it should be as close to equal as possible.  People should also always build each other up and never tear each other down, and celebrate each other achievements.  I also know that people that are the most isolating and jealous of other's talking to their girlfriend/wife are usually the one's who don't want outside opinions for a reason, my educated guess is that they aren't treating them as well as they see other's treating their significant others and tend to isolate them to protect their control over them.  This is not to be mistaken for those who do this out of culture or custom because if you were in a different country you would want to protect your family and that is different from isolating them intentionally.  

  I know that my asking why so much is out of genuine curiousity and those who can't answer those questions usually don't have a good answer, which is why we should question everything and I encourage anyone to prove me wrong because if you can do so then I am also learning something new but many can't put away their ego or pride to ever admit they even could be wrong therefore are unable to learn new things.  If you only ever hear one perspective and don't get a diverse set of opinions differing from your own then you can never have a full perspective of any topic.  Everyone has some bias but very few are aware of their biases and take them into account when making decisions, instead we use mental shortcuts which a lot of the times can be flawed.  Only seeking out opinions that confirm your own bias is conformation bias, it's best to seek out information that could disprove your bias or theory just like playing devil's advocate and try to poke holes in your theory first and if you can't find any holes or flaws then you know you have a good theory to further discuss.  

   I also think a relationship agreement or a set of expectations in writing formalized by being notarized is a great way to communicate all expectations for any relationship then their is no confusion as to what either party wants or needs.  It would be similar to a pre-nuptial agreement but more about actions and behaviors and could be re-visited each year on the anniversary to make any amendments as life changes as long as both parties agree.   I think this would be best because I wish things were fair in life but I also know they aren't as well as some people strive to become better people by doing small things each day rather than one grand gesture, so a new habit that you start that helps your partners self-esteem each day grow is much better than one grand gesture then acting badly for a any amount of time.  Not every one is able to actively listen like I can and listening is an overlooked and hard to teach skill that is essential these days, along with community engagement.

  Our brains naturally need explanation's or closure this is why so many have faith to explain things that they otherwise could not explain, it's due to our brains needing to understand something that happened and when we cannot explain it with science, we usually blame it on god, luck, karma or any number of things but that is only how some explain it to themselves so it doesn't cause cognitive dissonance.  

   Everyone is different and usually does have something very special and unique about them or a skill or talent that not everyone knows about and those talents can be used for good or evil in most cases, the only decider is how the person uses their talents.  Transparency and Honesty are important to me but in this narcissistic world we live in right now sometimes that is very hard to achieve when it really shouldn't be.  With the amount of knowledge at our fingertips, if everyone was able to absorb all the questions they wanted to ask, and was able to throw out the bad advice and keep the good advice or even the good information from documentaries and toss out the bad as well as double check the information obtained things would be a lot better.  Too often people take the shortest route and just use the availability heuristic and make decisions based on the most readily available information in our working memories instead of looking back and using hindsight as a way to learn from past mistakes.  I'm a lifelong learner in that I'm always open to learning new skills that I believe I have the ability to learn and I am also very adaptable but my passiveness is going away and I'm becoming more confident everyday and it's not a bad thing mainly because I'm a great listener and always listen to understand and not necessarily reply but if you bring up a topic I'm very proficient in i'm sure it's easy to see how excited I get to explain things that I know well, like computers, bitcoin, and a few other topics but I also take the time to let other's speak as well and that is absolutely essential to becoming a great listener.

Ted talk about deep fakes .