An explanation of the Silent treatment and IIED and why its a form of IIED

 

How the Silent Treatment Can Fit Into Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED)

Silent treatment—when someone deliberately ignores another person, refusing to communicate or acknowledge them—can sometimes rise to the level of intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED), depending on how and why it is used.

When Silent Treatment Might Qualify as IIED

• If the silent treatment is used deliberately as a form of punishment, control, or manipulation, and it causes the victim severe emotional pain, it may be considered a form of emotional abuse136.
• Legal standards for IIED require that the behavior be extreme or outrageous, intentional (or reckless), and result in significant emotional distress for the victim8.
• The silent treatment, when weaponized in this way, can leave someone feeling isolated, desperate, and anxious, sometimes even causing trauma or long-term emotional harm356.

Key Points to Explain

• Occasional silence or needing space is normal in relationships, but using silence as a tool to punish or control is not.
• When the silent treatment is used intentionally to hurt someone and causes them serious emotional distress, it can fit the definition of IIED368.
• This form of emotional abuse can be as damaging as verbal or even physical abuse, activating the same areas of the brain as physical pain56.

Example

If someone repeatedly and intentionally ignores their spouse for days or weeks as a way to punish them, and this causes the spouse to become extremely anxious, depressed, or fearful, that pattern could be considered IIED if the distress is severe and the conduct is outrageous by societal standards368.

In summary: The silent treatment, when used intentionally and in an extreme way to cause emotional harm, can be a form of intentional infliction of emotional distress. It is not just about being quiet; it is about using silence as a weapon to deeply hurt another person368.

1. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/silent-treatment
2. https://bencrump.com/faqs/what-constitutes-intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress/
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202411/stonewalling-as-a-form-of-emotional-abuse
4. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/silent-treatment
5. https://www.healthshots.com/mind/emotional-health/silent-treatment-worse-than-physical-abuse/
6. https://www.aplaceofhope.com/the-silent-treatment-when-silence-becomes-emotional-abuse/
7. https://www.isba.org/committees/women/newsletter/2003/11/reflectionsofadownstatefamilylawyer
8. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/intentional_infliction_of_emotional_distress

Explaining Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED) to a 65–70 Year Old

What is IIED?

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, often called IIED, is a legal term for when someone does something very extreme and shocking on purpose (or is extremely careless) and causes another person to suffer serious emotional harm—so much so that it could affect their mental or even physical health123456.

Breaking it Down Simply:

• Someone acts in a way that is much worse than ordinary rudeness or unkindness.
• Their actions are so outrageous that most people would say, “That’s just not acceptable in our society.”  (I would also say it is not a social norm like the exaggeration and alternative facts used by the current political climate)
• The person doing this either wants to cause emotional pain, or doesn’t care if they do.
• The result is that the victim suffers severe emotional distress—much more than just being upset or annoyed. This distress could even lead to physical problems, like getting sick or developing a serious mental health issue123456.

       When someone does this for an extended period of time especially after a  loved one has been suicidal, been physically harassed, or suffered a severe traumatic event of which they were dismissed entirely, would compound their mental anguish they have already endured.

Examples:

• A boss repeatedly harasses an employee in a cruel way, causing the employee to become extremely fearful and ill2.
• Someone tells parents they know something terrible about their missing child, but it turns out to be a lie, causing the parents severe trauma2.
• Repeated, targeted insults or threats that go far beyond normal arguments or disagreements45.

What Doesn’t Count:

• Ordinary insults, criticism, or unkind words, even if they hurt your feelings, usually do not count as IIED.  (Who would ordinarily insult their own child after a traumatic event in their lives? or make them bottle up emotions after an event that happened on a vacation instead of talking with them, which is what a normal caring parent would do)
• The law expects people to handle some level of rudeness or stress in daily life345.

Why Does This Matter?

If someone’s behavior is so extreme that it causes you serious emotional or mental harm, you might have a legal claim against them. However, these cases are hard to prove, and you need strong evidence that what happened was truly outrageous and caused you real, serious distress56.

In Short:

IIED is when someone does something so cruel and shocking, on purpose or with reckless disregard, that it causes another person to suffer severe emotional and possibly physical harm. It’s much more than just being mean or rude—it’s behavior that society would find totally unacceptable123456.

I would also say if the child explained to the parent what they were doing in every way possible which include printing out research for them, posting on their favorite medium for news and weather (YouTube), talking calmly with them only to be met with eye rolls and "whatever's", and even rising to the level of raising their voice, yet nothing get's them to realize the severely damaging nature of their patterns of behaviors.

This interactive assessment is available on my website Bit.ly/Dov24 and anyone who is possibly a victim should take it to help them assess whether what behaviors they are experiencing are problematic.

1. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/intentional_infliction_of_emotional_distress
2. https://www.nycbar.org/get-legal-help/article/personal-injury-and-accidents/infliction-emotional-distress/
3. https://www.findlaw.com/injury/torts-and-personal-injuries/intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress.html
4. https://www.freedomforum.org/intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress/
5. https://evansinjuryattorneys.com/blog/understanding-intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress/
6. https://hnwlaw.com/2020/05/27/elder-abuse-by-the-intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress/
7. https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/personal-injury/suing-emotional-distress/
8. https://www.lawinfo.com/resources/personal-injury/intentional-infliction-of-emotional-distress/
9. https://www.nursinghomeabusecenter.com/elder-abuse/types/emotional-abuse/
10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxGLi8CjFws