Gaslighting: Am I Being Made to Doubt My Sanity? (Part 2)

Gaslighting: Am I Being Made to Doubt My Sanity?

Part 2 of the Hidden Psychological Abuse Series.
← Read Part 1: If This Resonates, You're Not Crazy

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone systematically makes you question your memory, perception, or sanity so they can maintain control. It's not one argument—it's a pattern that leaves you feeling like you can't trust your own mind.

Over time, gaslighting can make you second-guess everything: your decisions, your memories, even your right to feel hurt. The goal is always the same: to keep you doubting yourself so they stay "right."

Gaslighting Checklist: Do several of these sound familiar?

• You apologize constantly, even when you're not sure what you did wrong.
• You catch yourself thinking: "Maybe I am crazy," "I can't trust my memory," or "Maybe it is my fault."
• They flat-out deny things you clearly remember:
      • "That never happened."
      • "You're making things up."
      • "You're remembering it wrong."
• They say one thing, then later insist they said the opposite—and get angry if you question it.
• They twist your words and bring them back later to use against you.
• When you bring up something hurtful, the conversation somehow becomes about how you are the problem.
• You leave conversations feeling confused, guilty, or scrambled—like your brain fogged up.
• People who know you well have noticed you're more anxious, quiet, or unsure of yourself lately.

Real-Life Gaslighting Examples

You say: "It hurt when you ignored my texts for three days."

Gaslighter responds: "I never ignored you. You're so paranoid. I responded right away—check your phone. You're always making drama out of nothing."

You say: "You promised we'd go to that event together."

Gaslighter responds: "I never promised that. You must have dreamed it. You're putting words in my mouth again."

Why Gaslighting Works (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

Gaslighting works because it's gradual and personalized. It targets your specific insecurities and builds over time. What starts as "You're remembering wrong" becomes "You're fundamentally unreliable."

But here's the truth: Your memories and perceptions matter. You are allowed to trust your own mind.

Gaslighting is a control tactic, not a communication problem.

First Steps If You're Being Gaslit

• Trust your notebook, not your gaslighter: Start writing down what happens immediately after interactions. Dates, words, your feelings. This creates an external record.
• Test reality with safe people: Share specific incidents (anonymously if needed) with someone who won't gaslight you back.
• Notice the pattern: When you feel crazy, pause and ask: "Did they just deny my reality? Flip blame onto me? Make me apologize?"
• Limit exposure: Grey rock—short, boring, factual responses give gaslighters less material to work with.

Coming Next

Part 3: DARVO—Why every confrontation mysteriously gets flipped around on you.

If you're reading this wondering "Is this really happening to me?"—yes, it might be. And you're already taking the first step by recognizing it.

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About the author: Years of research into psychological abuse patterns and supporting others quietly. This series helps people name what they're experiencing so they can find safety and clarity.

Labels: gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, trauma recovery