I hear on the radio, all these stations wanting people to nominate people for positivity.....

 Today I was listening to 100.9 and heard an intake officer that was speaking about trying to spread positivity anytime he could while being an intake officer at the detention center and I do recognize many of those people do try to do their best to make putting people in jail as positive as they can and I can respect that but the 2 times I've visited a long time ago it was anything but positive and demeaning but I know in most cases it's needed.  Sometimes I wonder why my positive attitude and all my recommendations for changes or proposals on my website aren't noticed a little more.  Everyone I talk to in person knows I am a great active listener, I actively engage the person, I try to put myself in their shoes and understand their problems and try to help them solve them if at all possible, either by advice or suggestions but some don't want to hear either they just want someone to hear them complain.  The complainers I cannot help, but the one's wanting help I wish I could honestly help because in the last 10 months that I've been thru, helping a friend get better help thru www.Psychologytoday.com made me feel good and that I had accomplished something and made a positive change in their life.  This is one of the few positive things that have happened to me at all, even thou things are starting to turn around and my parents are being a little more supportive I believe anyone who has parents in their 60's should know these simple things I'm about to list here.

1. If your child needs you to listen to understand, do not interrupt them, be distracted, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand them.

2. Validate their feelings especially if you have the time to listen and show them support because I know times are hard and so many people are depressed but so much of that could be solved by parents that truly actively listen rather than just throw money at the problem.

3. Show empathy should be self-explanatory

4. Listen to their story without any dismissive body language or remarks whatsoever to begin with, and don't try to equate an experience you've had with what they are going thru because each generation is different.  Listen with the intent to UNDERSTAND and not to REPLY or as someone said "If your mouth is moving, then your not listening".  

5. Try to help solve their problems by including part of their story or what they believe will solve their problems as part of the solution because another good quote is "No man ever listened his way out of a job"

6. It all boils down to taking the time to listen or just asking yourself "Do I want my child to be happy or depressed and miserable?"  If it's the first one then just start by opening your mind and letting go of your own opinions and just LISTEN with the intent to understand and help them solve their problem because putting if off or just as I said "throwing money at it" rarely if ever works, it's kind of like a band-aid, it's only a temporary fix and won't hold for long.  

If you like my points here listen to the TedTalk about 10 ways to have a better conversation