Guide to recognizing Narcissistic tendencies and personality types

 

Narcissistic Personality traits or tendencies:

Grandiose (Overt) – display a grandiose sense of self without significant achievements to justify their beliefs  They consider themselves as special or exceptional without a reasonable explaination as to why.  These people often engage in frequent fantasies about having unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, believing they deserve recognition or status regardless of their actual accomplishments.

They are influenced by a combination of genetic predisposition, early childhood factors and other cultural factors. Many of these types hide their behaviors, making accurate prevalence estimates hard to establish.

This personality type is marked by profound difficulties in forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships due to a significant lack of empathy and inability to understand what others are going thru or appreciate what others perspectives,       emotions or needs unless they directly relate to the narcissists own interests or concerns.  Their relationships are often superficial and exist primarily to serve as their self esteem regulation rather than mutual connection or support.

They often have interpersonal behaviors that reflect a pattern of exploitation, where the narcissist is willing to take advantage of others to achieve their own goals.  They often display arrogance and condescension toward those they perceive as inferior.  When engaging with others they may be excessively attuned to reactions, but only if perceived as relevant to themselves often over or underestimating their affect on others.  This often creates a pattern of one-sided ness where mutual benefit is contrained by little genuine interest in others and these traits lead to significant impairment in social , occupational, and other areas of functioning.  They have a limited capacity for self-reflection or recognizing their personal limitations.  When confronted that contradicts their self image they typically respond with anger or disdain, or dismissal rather than adjust ing their self perception.  They also believe that rules that apply to others should not apply to them. And expect ofhers to cater to their needs without reciprocation.  They usually present with a pervasive pattern of attention seeking behaviors designed to maintain their own self image.  They engage in  in excessive attempts to attract and be the center of attention from others continually seeking admiration and validation from those around them.  They may dominate conversations  or consistently redirect discussions to focus on themselves. They require continous external validation, in work settings they make unreasonable requests on co-workers and subordinates  expecting exceptions to their policies and special treatment and exceptions to policies that apply to others.  Chris Loper, Latisha Holland, Kyle Lynch Joseph Hibbard and Jordan would fit in this category

 

Vulnerable (Covert) – these types exhibit a constant need for validation and reassurance about their talents, skills, and accomplishments.  They persistently seek confirmation of their specialness or importance but do so in more subtle ways, less demanding that the grandiose version.  When they fail to receive validation the crave they may withdraw socially or become passive in relationships rather than expressing direct anger.  Their covertness may not be apparent but they need persistently have others affirm their worth and importance.  Self-victimization and indirect expressions of antagonism.  They often position themselves as victims of other’s behaviors or circumstances, using their perceived suffering to elicit sympathy and support.  They may fabricate hardships to maintain their victim status and garner status  thru expressions of suffering rather than achievement.  This victim narrative serves both to protect their fragile self image and to manipulate others into providing validation. They often use guilt trips and shame to control others.  Their subtle ways such as backhanded compliments, subtle put downs or creating confusion that makes others question their perception of reality (Gaslighting) .  In relationships  they often dismiss or deny other people’s feelings while expecting others to be attuned to their emotional needs.  The may respond to perceived slights with withdrawal, sulking, or subtle sabotage rather than open confrtontation.  The passive aggressive creates a challenging dynamic that can be difficult to identify.

Both types view people as tools tor their advancement and this exploitation can take the form of using other’s as resources, talents, or connections without reciprocation or genuine appreciation.  In professional settings they make take credit for others work, delegate their responsibilities while leveraging relationships solel for career advancement.  They often use other’s emotional vulnerabilities  to gain compliance or admiration.  They may alternate between idealization and devaluation of others, praising others when useful to them and then critizing harshly when their own needs aren’t met.  Gaslighting is another common tactic were they distort reality to make others question their perceptions, memories or sanity. This manipulation creates confusion and self doubt making it hard to challenge the behavior but both types employ these tactics.  These exploitation patterns create significant harm in relationships, undermining trust and emotional safety.

Narcissistic individuals display distinctive patterns in how they handle conflict and respond to criticism, creating challenging dynamics in their relationships. When faced with disagreement or criticism, they typically react with disproportionate defensiveness, anger, or contempt rather than consideration or openness. Grandiose narcissists may respond with rage, counterattacks, or dismissal, while vulnerable narcissists more commonly withdraw, sulk, or engage in self-victimization. Both types experience criticism as a fundamental threat to their self-image rather than as potentially useful feedback.  In conflict situations, narcissistic individuals frequently employ blame-shifting to protect their self-image, refusing to acknowledge their contribution to problems. They may gaslight others by denying previous statements or behaviors, rewriting history to position themselves favorably. Their fragile self-esteem makes genuine resolution difficult, as they struggle to engage in the mutual compromise and accountability necessary for healthy conflict resolution. This pattern extends across personal and professional relationships, creating chronic tension and instability. Their inability to handle criticism constructively often leads to relationship breakdown over time, as others become exhausted by the constant need to manage the narcissist's fragile ego and defensive reactions. Judy Rawlings and Kristen Nordin, even Taylor Bates fit this type of vulnerable narcissistic traits.

Conversely, severe emotional neglect or abuse can lead to the development of narcissistic defenses as protection against vulnerability. Inconsistent parenting that alternates between overvaluation and criticism may contribute to the unstable self-image characteristic of narcissism.  Beyond personality disorders, narcissistic individuals frequently experience mood disorders, substance use disorders, and anxiety conditions, often as a response to threats to their self-image or interpersonal failures except in some cases they can be built up to have a reasonable self esteem and even strive to achieve things previously they didn’t think they could do.  these traits significantly impact interpersonal functioning, emotional regulation, and overall life adjustment.

The documentary about social norms is called (Dis) Honesty and it was on Netflix. This link is to the preview of it on Youtube.  This is the documentary that talks about social norms and how people that see other people cheating on taxes and tests will do the same if they see that others don't get in trouble for their cheating on those things.

Specific examples:  Kyle's grandiose sense of self made him think he was the law in the area where he lives and I believe see's other's as inferior to him.  

Chris Loper's lack of empathy or the ability to listen to others or show genuine interest in other's perceptions or emotions while his lack of achievements are a perceived threat.  He should have been happy with the job he had at the nuclear plant because the amount of money to achieve happiness is generally 75,00$ per year and if he wasn't happy then, he then started his own business which he used me as a tool and paid me right at minimum wage or slightly more out of fairness when I had worked for the family for 20 years, 24 if you count the years I worked at McB's.  He like others can be charming and persuasive at times even getting into positions of power like being on the city counsel or elder at a church without achievements to deserve them.

David Shawn Jones - the master electrician and drunk that judy literally told me was a narcissist before I went to get him in missouri and I told her she was right.  This was a favor I didn't want to do but did out of kindness.  He boasts a lot and often his mouth gets him in trouble that's why he got kicked out of woodrige apartments.

Kristen has been playing the victim ever since we were kids I just thought she had grown up so when she made that spiteful comment to me about growing up that was just projection due to her meager achievements.  She requires the constant validation from her mother because her dad as we both know talks at people to with people, or is not a good listener.  Her subtle put downs even with her own husband and cutting me down over the years has persisted, I just thought she had grown up, I was wrong.  She also talks badly about every other family member or has in the past.

Taylor was told she was a monster during a time in her life to which I told her the opposite because she was much more kind when i knew her and I supported her goals to get her GED and only wanted to build her up because I believe in equality and in my opinion think she was a nicer person when we were talking for the 2 and 1/2 years, she just never truly let down her emotional walls but I was her emotional support and even thought she was my best friend during this time period which changed dramatically when she left without reason, and in my opinion is a much more emotionally detached than she was before.  I also know she can rationalize things that don't make logical sense to herself, rationalizing our relationship by saying she knew me for longer when she just knew me for a brief time before disappearing then reappearing a decade later.  She is not a bad person but just the product of the people she is around the most because environment also plays a crucial role in one's self esteem and worth. For that period in time I was happy and routinely asked where it was going wanting it to become more but she would always change the subject. 

my mother didn't like her but I didn't really care what or who she liked because it turns out they are quite similar in some ways.  but this was when she was at mom's house and was shy and liked to tickle me often, had she asked why I didn't like it I would have explained my father used to tickle me and my sister literally until we nearly wet ourselves when we were younger, and also never backed mom up when he got home from work using the "I didn't see it" to cop out of having to disipline me or my sister which routinely frustrated my mother and eventually she just gave up trying to get validation from my grandmother and joined my dad's "special" world view.

My aunt has suffered very similarly to me but much worse, she has been the bravest and went thru the most as far as abusive relationships but even when her first marriage ended she took up for herself, but like me can be gullible at times.  My father once made a subtle put down in front of my nephews insinuating  the same thing the mean girls she went to school with did that were absolutely untrue and uncalled for.  My father has routinely only stood up for his self or his own selfish interests even in religion, thinking he is special and going to a higher level than others in "heaven".

My grandfather may have been a abusive man but the positive attributes were that when it came down to it he protected his family and knew WHEN TO LET GO and let someone else be in charge but now that person still uses finances to exert control over her youngest as my mother does me while they do spend the most money, they over examine mine and my aunts expenses when we are frugal people and don't have supportive people to back us up in standing up for ourselves.  This is why we have similar chronic anxieties which a documentary called American Anxiety part one and two explain this very well.  I watched them on Tubi.tv for free.  It's also an app as well.

I know what I experience and have experienced is a systemic problem and my family dynamic is just a smaller version of the larger problem with the US and the current state of misinformation or "active measures" (another documentary) that the russian's have employed for many years to divide us with misinformation.  If they honestly took a look back they could say Trump won due to cambrige analytica's influence on the persuadables, just as they did on the brexit campaign.  Due to his 6 bankruptcies, 4,000 court cases and the 35 felonies he is facing in new york, why would anyone think he is a good businessman? because those are accurate figures or track record of his business endeavors.  July 11th he faces sentencing for the stormy daniels scandal that included Michael Cohen and we the american people should demand accountability and a very harsh punishment because money, too often get's people out of the crimes they commit and only encourages them to do it again.  We do need radical change in our government but I have outlined what will actually improve lives in this blog post Upgrade the US's Operating system